Was he a slow learner? Was he autistic? Was he mentally challenged? What was wrong with this child, I used to wonder. If he was, then why wasn’t he placed in a special school? A school that could cater to his special needs? How could the adults be so impatient with such a child? My heart went out to him…and I told myself, I will make a difference in this little boy’s life.
I observed him with the passing of time…I was quick to scold the other kids who taunted him and got him into trouble, I selfishly kept him with me all the time…worried that others would scold him and taunt him and tease him. I flew into a silent rage, whenever the adults reprimanded him and punished him for things he did not do, but couldn’t speak out to defend himself. And, my innocent boy would only return a teething smile to the demons who punished him.
How could mature, sensible, adults be so heartless? They knew his problem, why couldn’t they be more patient with him? How could they punish such a special child who had very little control over his motor skills??? The more and more I watched this little boy grow, I began to wonder…what happens when he goes to school? He is at an innocent age now…what would happen when he grows older, into his teens and see the young lads his age run around freely, speak with no hesitation, dress themselves to look smart? What about when he is a little older? When he reaches the girl chasing age? Wouldn’t he want more attention? Wouldn’t feelings develop in his tender little heart?
I watched on as the years went by…I saw his playmates move on to higher levels while he remained at the first level, year-in and year-out. I didn’t know what to feel, how to feel and why I felt this way. But this little boy found a special place in my heart. Thus began an inexpressible bond between this little boy and I. Slowly, he began to open up…and it is this reaction, this difference in the way he reacted to me, and to the others, that made me realize, he too, had feelings…tough he cant express it in words, he knew! He began to behave himself whenever I told him to, he was more attentive when I was around…he constantly wanted my attention, he never wanted to sit with other groups…while my children changed every week, he remained a constant.
One day, we did coloring…that was the first time I ever saw him working with deep concentration…hell, he couldn’t careless if I was there or not! And only when he was done, he came to me, with a picture-perfect piece of art work…my heart melted looking at him hold his little piece of paper, grinning from ear to ear…color coordination all completely berserk, but, all within the picture frame. “you, akka”, he said indicating that he did that piece for me. How sweet…my little boy who couldn’t speak English for me to understand, and to whom I couldn’t speak Tamil to talk to, did the best he could, for ME!!!
And that is the story of Mohin Raj, my special little boy. He made me realize how important it is to treat everyone right…to have time for people, no matter how young, or how old, or how challenged or how special they are…humans have feelings. Heck, even animals do too!!! While is it so easy for us to express feelings to those who can hear what we say, can understand our speech, and respond accordingly? Yet, why do most of us withhold or find it hard to share such expressions of love to those who are mentally challenged, vocally challenged, or in other words, special?
Today, I know several special people, just because of the lesson Mohin taught me. From reaching out to special colleagues, whom people often shy away from, simple because they cannot understand what is being said, to special strangers…I have overcome that shyness to reach out and make conversation. Yes, its difficult at first, yes, It can be embarrassing, especially so when everyone stops for a while to stare…but look on the bright side. Someone special feels cared for…and that someone would feel alive again..even if it was only for a few seconds. Overtime, when we take the first step, slowly, others realize and they reach out too.
Thank you, Mohin. I love you too!
19 February 2007
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